The Boy Who Lived And His Wolf
by TheWolfWithinMe
Summary: As the world moves on from the war and Voldemort, Harry struggles to deal with his losses. So when an old professor takes him under his wing, can he finally put the past behind him? Will both the Chosen One and the werewolf succumb to the despair in their lives? Or will they save each other? And what will they do when a new darkness appears? [AU: Lupin is alive. Harry/Lupin.]


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Tick. Tick. Tick.

 _Midnight._

Harry's eyes wandered over to the clock on the wall behind the dusty bar and narrowed. For exactly ten seconds, he had been twenty two. With a snort of disinterest, he called over the bartender and ordered himself another Firewhiskey. The ex-Gryffindor had stopped caring about birthdays exactly five years ago, where at the age of just seventeen, he lost whatever innocence and happiness he originally had in the war.

The _war_. The thing that was still able to haunt his dreams, even now, and affect him in his waking hours as well. He couldn't run from it, escape it or drown out the endless pain and regrets. Though he certainly _tried_.

The Firewhiskey burned as it was forced down his throat, the discomfort distracting him for a few mere seconds before the numbness hit him in the face again, like a never-ending headache.

'Harry?'

Recognizing the voice immediately, though it had been years since he last heard it, Harry turned his head slightly to face one of his old Professor's.

'Remus?' He asked, one brow perking in surprise. 'What are you doing here?'

The older man looked terrible, even worse than when Harry had last seen him. His clothes were shabbier, his hair longer and he just looked ... empty. Almost like Harry felt.

'I could ask you the same thing,' Lupin replied, hauling himself onto a bar stool and ordering a full bottle of mead. 'Your friends told me you would be here.' He explained as he took the empty glass from the bartender and filled it to the brim with the scarlet colored liquid. He took a sip and shuddered, eyeing Harry closely. 'You can't avoid the world forever, Harry. We're all getting worried about you.'

Harry snorted again. Another lecture, great. Just what he needed. Both Ron and Hermione would give him weekly speeches, once they had found him, of course, and each time he would simply nod and agree whilst retaining the same blank expression on his face that he always wore these days. He _knew_ Ginny was done with him, he also _knew_ that he was inches away from getting fired at the Ministry.

He just couldn't bring himself to care.

As the rest of the world moved on, celebrating Voldemort's downfall whilst simultaneously mourning their dead, he remained in limbo. Shifting from hotel to hotel to avoid detection, he spent most of the past few months trying to cope with the pain that constantly haunted him. Now that the Horcruxes were found and the war was over, he couldn't find a purpose in his life anymore, and while his friends were glad to finally settle down again, he felt like he was missing a part of him.

Which in a way, he was.

'I'm fine.' Harry said, lifting the glass to his lips again and downing the entire contents in one go.

'You're just as stubborn as James was,' Remus replied quietly, his own glass already half empty. 'Though when he didn't want to talk, he would just transform into a stag and threaten to impale us all with his antlers.'

Harry grinned halfheartedly and then sighed. 'I don't know how to carry on with my life, Remus,' He muttered, 'Ron and Hermione have each other and they're trying to rebuild their happiness. Ginny wants to settle down with me but...' Pushing his empty drink away, he ran a hand through his messy hair and continued, 'I don't want that. I'm not _ready_ for that. The world has turned over a new page and yet, I'm still stuck on the old one.'

Another hand joined the one in his hair and he began tugging on the ends, his voice finally starting to show emotion. 'I miss my parents, I miss Sirius and most of all, I miss the old _me._ The one who could still smile and mean it.'

Lupin stayed quiet as Harry spoke, his eyes dropping to the floor for a moment before he slowly reached into his travelling cloak and pulled out a white box. It was slightly squished at the corners, but other than that, it remained looking perfect. He slid it across to the boy and gave him a soft smile. 'Happy birthday, Harry.'

Harry suddenly had deja vu from his eleventh birthday, when Hagrid gave him a similar box. He blinked at it in confusion for several minutes, then carefully peeled away the golden ribbon. Flipping open the lid, he saw a cake in the shape of a black dog, with a magnificent stag stood beside it. On the dog's other side was a dark brown wolf, and while the random collection of animals may seem strange to an outsider, Harry knew exactly what, and who, they represented.

'The Marauders.' He whispered, a lone tear escaping to run down his cheek.

'Minus one, of course,' Remus said, watching Harry sadly. 'But the important ones are still there, and still here.' He reached out a hand and placed it against the other's chest, feeling Harry's heart beat beneath his touch. 'And obviously _here.'_ He motioned with his free hand towards himself and glanced down at the wolf. 'I miss them too, though. So much.'

Harry didn't know what to say. He could feel the emotion quickly building up inside of him and before he could stop himself, he was crying into Lupin's shoulder. Months of hiding his feelings and feebly pushing them into a dark corner were all coming back to him, and he no longer had the fight to conceal them anymore. Raw pain rushed through his body as each and every death came back to him; his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Dobby, Fred, Hedwig... The list was endless. The regret and guilt was starting to drown him, and soon Remus' cloak was soaked from his uncontrollable tears.

'It's okay, I'm here.' Lupin soothed, curling one arm around Harry and simply holding him. He had expected this day to come, Harry's heart was too big to remain cold forever, but the sight of his best friend's son looking so distraught broke his own heart into pieces, and even though he was barely dealing with his own grief and personal regrets, he pushed it all aside to focus his attention on the boy in his arms.

'Come and stay with me, Harry.' He added, carefully closing the lid on the cake box and replacing it back into his pocket. 'I miss having company.'

Lifting his head up and wiping away the tears that still clung to his face, Harry stared at his old professor. 'But what about Tonks?'

Whatever color Lupin had in his cheeks, quickly vanished. 'She left me.' He replied hollowly. 'I forgot to take my potion one month and -' He broke off and shook his head, attempting to smile again. 'It doesn't matter.'

Harry knew he was lying. It mattered to Remus as much as losing Ginny mattered to him, and as he studied the older man properly for the first time that night, he could see how truly broken he was. So, instead of pushing him away like he did with his friends, he nodded softly.

'I'd like that.'


End file.
